#8 Summer

June 22, 2017

Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Zooey Deschanel

This is not a love story.....

My new friend just told me that he won't get married or having a kid in the future. He said that he's not confident enough to be a dad, and he wants his gene to ends on him.

I always excited for these kinds of talk, cause it should be a serious talk and people sometimes will use their emotion to show their arguments.

He's so different from me. You know I always dream about being a mom, have a kid that I can hug every night. Even I have a crazy plan to do insemination if I still cannot find "the one" on my 30's. I am confident enough to be a mom. I knew what happened to my life and I don't want my kids to have those kinds of pathetic life in their life. I wanna teach them to be kind rather than to be religious. I want a kid, so bad.

Beside that, He is totally different from me. I love noodle, he's allergic to wheat. I love peanut butter, he's allergic to peanut, He can sleep 10 seconds after he put his head on the pillow, I take like 100 seconds to fall asleep. We are incompatible, practically....

Well, anyway...recently a lot of my friends talk about marriage, and most of them really wanna get married soon. Well, we are born in the '90s, I also think it's the time for mating. But, are they really wanna get married or they just afraid to be lonely? To die alone? To do everything alone? I knew it would be scary, but I think again. Because marriage is something too holy to be played with. it's a shame that some people wanna get married just to have a safe sex or some of them said sex in a halal way ( like come on )

For me, marriage is more than that. It's about building your own company. You got the idea, he got the similar idea, and you work together. The conditions are you should be faithful, no cheating to each other, and understand each other. Or even more than that. But, I still can't imagine living forever with the same person forever like ever......

I don't know, cause I don't have many examples of good marriages. The most beautiful marriage I've ever known is my grandparent's marriage. They married for 60 years and passed away in the same year. My granddad passed away on March 2016, and my granny passed away 7 months after, on October 2016. On the last 7 months before she passed away, she always talked about my granddad like he's still alive. There I knew, what love is. But still, marriage is marriage.

Besides my grandparent's marriage, I still couldn't find any good marriage examples so far. I have some bad marriage stories, I met someone's husband, and I saw him cheating on his wife when his wife was pregnant. I saw a happy couple and they get divorced after they have 2 beautiful girls. I saw a guy that I used to think he's so faithful and he won't get married anymore after his wife passed away because he's desperately too in love to his dead wife, but then I found that He's a gay since before he got married. All those stories are pathetic, people hurt people.

I and my new friend always talk about something that we shouldn't talk about on our hang out. On the first hangout we talked about God and His existence, on the second hangout we talked about holocaust and world war, on the third hangout we talked about marriage, and on the fourth hangout we talk about human and sex, and until our uncountable hangout we talked about everything and usually ended up arguing or just "whatever, I don't care". But it's funny that sometimes we're both so needy of each other.

My relationship with my new friend is weird. We act like we are in a relationship but we are not. We act like we are a friend but we are more than that. But you know, same like a relationship or even marriage, you just like him to be around. The difference is we're not give each other those kind of responsibility or any commitment. Because we are friend. Cause actually, all we need is just a friend. Everything that will happen, happened. So yeah, welcome to the life....

You Might Also Like


Hello, Thanks for reading my blog! :)


Find this blog on facebook